Double chins

Oh the loveliness of the double chin...when it's Katie and her friend Jasmine....its hilarious. They contort their necks and face to make as many double chins as they can. Who does that????? I'll tell you who....thin, cute little girls. Laugh at double chins when you are a teen being funny...but when you are an adult...and you don't have to work at the double chin...not so funny.

This last week Ned and I went to Lincoln City for his birthday for a couple nights. We gambled, Ned photographed, we shopped, hot tubbed, and played in the pool. We had a wonderful time. Ned is always so sweet and loving and he thought that I looked extra pretty one of the days and he wanted to take my picture. We pulled off into Fogarty Creek Park...found the perfect place with some lovely greenery behind me...Ned looked through the lens and told me how pretty I was...he pushed the button...and the shutter did it's thing...and I asked to see the digital image so I would know if there was a hair out of place or my collar was wrong. What happened next...Ned nor I was really prepared for. He turned the camera around...and the picture I saw was not me...not how I see ME...maybe not how Ned sees me...but there I was with a double chin and a round face that I could not hide...and I BURST into tears. :( I refused to take any more pictures and I walked to the car. Ned erased the files...and we drove off in silence. He gave some time to pull it together...and then asked what he could do...should he be quiet...should he try to figure out my crazy thoughts?lol. (I added the crazy) He thinks I'm pretty...no matter how I look...no matter how many chins I have...no matter what size. That is something I have never had. There has never been a man in my life that thinks I'm beautiful no matter what...Never...Ned..you are the first...and I love you even more for your honest lovely sweet wonderful thoughts.

Having said that...it is amazing how I see myself different in my head versus the mirror. In my weight loss journey...regardless of going up or down in weight my mind sees myself the same way at all times. I don't know what this all means. I do know that I can gain weight like nobody's business and be in denial about it for some time. I know that right now...I feel uncomfortable...and I've gotten a huge wake up call from the tears at Fogarty Park. Now the question is ...can I get going again? I get so tired of hearing myself talk about starting again...just get it done already NICOLE!!! It's funny how you can be your own best cheerleader and at the same time be your biggest meanest critic too.

Here we go again!

Good luck to me...maybe someday...the double chin will be funny...instead of tearful.

California and the Redwoods

Ned and I just got back from a six night vacation. We went to Florence for 2 nights, then on down to Crescent City for the Redwoods for 3 nights, then back to Lincoln City for our last night. We had a really great time. Joked a little that parts of our trip were a little "National Lampoons"...but we did have fun. Ned indulged me with lots of casino time...we got players cards for every casino along the way down to California...that would be six :) lol. I know you don't need to know the details...but 1. Spirit Mtn, Grande Ronde, OR 2. Chinook Winds, Lincoln City, OR 3. Three Rivers, Florence, OR 4. The Mill, Coos Bay, OR 5. Lucky 7, Smith River, CA 6. The Elk Valley, Crescent City, CA. I pretty much broke even the whole trip, until the way home. We stopped at #'s 5, 4, 2, & 1 on the way home....any $20 bill I put in...returned a minimum of $55....and a max of $107....so it was fun...Ned even played on the drive home...and we both did well...he won $125.




Well...it wasn't all about casino's...hahaha...we went to see the huge trees.lol...the Redwoods. They were amazing. No better person to share it with then my guy Ned. He's the best photographer ever...and he made some great captures. He even tumbled down a ravine with his camera...good thing there was no long term damage to either one of them. We'll go back again some day with the kiddos...good thing for everyone to see.

On the weight loss wagon again tomorrow. I have a new schedule at work with 4 day weekends every other weekend. Need to get to exercising again.ugh...so don't want to ...but want to at the same time. School is starting for the kiddos in a couple weeks...so here's to routine. Cheers.

Goin the right direction

So...for my first week....down 3.8 lbs. I'll take it! I was happy about it. Feeling pretty darn good too. We traveled to the Farmers Market again yesterday. It was close to 90 yesterday again, and the shaved ice was perfect. :)

Earlier this week I did remember to take a picture of our yummy dinner. This is a Chicken Parmigiana with Spinach Noodles. Well we actually made it with turkey cutlets, and it was very tasty. Low fat and everything. The kids even loved the spinach and everything. :)

Well...it's birthday week for me, so wish me luck to keep my eye on what I eat. To at least keep the treats to a minimum. I'll update you again soon. :)

Fresh Veggies and the Market

Well...my mood is a tad better.lol....actually a lot better. We went to the Farmers Market this weekend after working out...and got a load of fresh veggies. We also had some delicious fish tacos. Yum!!!! I watched the lady make them and then we bought the stuff there to try our own at home.

I have to say...yes it is faster to run to McD's and get a value meal.lol...but nothing is as good as really fresh food. On Saturday we made a wonderful stir fry...it really is amazing how much everyone loved it. The girls even loved all the veggies. We had it coupled with some brown rice....It was yummy. Then we did tilapia fish tacos on Sunday...ohhh they were good too...with fresh cabbage and tomato's and cilantro as well as some fresh made tomatillo salsa from the market. Ned had a wonderful tilapia and potato's made when I came home from work on Monday night. This was all rounded out by some Shrimp Scampi on whole wheat noodles last night with a salad. Please...please...please tell me where my camera was during this time. The neat thing about fresh meals like this is the colors in everything. I can't wait to make something tonight. Another thing that is fun...trying out new recipes....we were getting in a rut of making the same things over and over....and this newness and freshness puts a different spin on things.

Well...next week is my bday...dinners...and the Cheesecake Factory...and the casino this weekend. :) I can't wait. :) Here's to making healthy choices...no matter what I'm doing. :)

Trainers

“Exercise is done against one's wishes and maintained only because the alternative is worse”

So very TRUE!! I really did not want to go to our first training session tonight. I actually was intending to be "sick" so I wouldn't have to go. I dreaded it allllll day. I never really got over it...but I did go. Ned and I went together. The treadmill warmup wasn't so bad....it reminded me of last year when we were doing so well. I thought I can totally do this....but I was quickly reminded of why I had dreaded it all day long. :( Maybe it was the wall sits....then the situps....and plank exercise....all the things to test our "core" (p.s. I have NOOOOO core....I absolutely despise those types of exercises) and after the core things...we did jumping jacks. You wouldn't think jumping jacks would be such a big deal...but let me tell you...to do them for a full minute with all your fat flabbin up and down...and a minute is a longggggg time....so long and so difficult for me...my legs would no longer cooperate after about 40 seconds. Ohhh how I hate trainers. I really really hate them. I mean...really hate them. Just like in Nacho Libre....everytime he says Orphans...replace that with Trainers




I hate to say it like that...but I've just had bad experience after bad experience with them. Ya know...after your "free" session with them...they sit you down like a timeshare sales ploy...and try and get you to buy several training sessions that cost a couple thousand dollars. They also tell you that you have so much weight to lose...that you probably can't do it without their help. Sorry to say...the personal training just doesn't work with my personality at this point. Maybe when I'm in better shape and need more help toward the end...well then maybe I would feel differently about it. I came home in a foul mood...but it has improved over the evening with the support and encouragement of Ned. I work the next couple of days, but Ned plans on going to workout with Caitlyn, and I will join them this weekend. I'll be ok...and I'll get to working out good again.

Yes, it's hard!

“Yes, it’s hard. It’s suppose to be hard. If it wasn’t hard everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great.” ....and we want to be great. :) Ned signed our family up for Gold's Gym. We have our first training tomorrow night....here we go. We will get back on track. We will. It is a place for all of us...and that is encouraging as well.

So tomorrow it is. :) Back to the grind...can we get through it? I think we can. It's all about being consistent...and we do that best together. I'll update you on how it goes tomorrow night. :) Wish me luck for a good day of eating prior to the workout. :) We know what to do....it's just a matter of doing it...and to keeeeeeeep doing it!

Interested vs. Committed

People who are interested in losing weight

1. Stick with it until something better comes along

2. Take action only if they "feel like" doing it

3. Need to see results in order to stay motivated

4. Blame people or circumstances for their struggles

5. Easily give up when they face challenges

People who are committed to losing weight

1. Stick with their plans no matter what

2. Take action whether they feel like doing it or not

3. Assume that if they stay motivated, results will follow

4. Take responsibility for their own actions

5. Keep going in spite of challenges and setbacks

Interested vs. committed....is Interesting.lol I really never thought of it like that. I have been interested always...but have I been committed? Maybe not. I think that I start out interested....it turns into committed...and then fizzles back down to interested. I wonder if you could apply this theory to other things in life? Could you apply it to any battle...or relationship? Today...I feel as though I have been interested in a lot...and not committed to much. This time....I am committed to losing weight.

I have had some results already. I have worked out 3 days of the last 5...and I am down 2.5 lbs. I'm happy with that. I did need to see some result for the work I have put in over the last few days. It will be a week on Tuesday...so I'll reweigh then and have a true weekly update. As for now...I'm off to the Farmers Market to buy some fruits and veges...and maybe even some pretty flowers for my table. I loveeeee fresh flowers. :)

"I used to be that way"

I opened an account at startyourdiet.com. I am able to put my starting weight in...and my goal...and how much I plan to lose per week....and poof...that's where I got the 1 year thing. This morning I decided to read Day 1 & 2 of their 100 days of weight loss. Amazingly...it was exactly what I needed to hear this morning. Here's what hit me the most...and it really applies to anything in life.
Change your thinking

Stop right there! Your past does not determine your future. In fact, your previous failures have absolutely no effect on your ability to succeed now. Starting today, eliminate the belief that things always go a certain way or that you never stay with your goals. Whenever those doubts creep back in, immediately give yourself this new message: "I used to be that way, but now I'm different!" This powerful statement completely ignores whatever you did before and instead, it promises you can change your outcome entirely. Rather than being fearful that you'll repeat the past, build a new way of thinking.

Make up a new ending

Because now you're different, you can do anything. You can even create different endings for your old negative patterns.


Those words really helped me...because I have done this before...and here I am again. But it's ok...because a year will have passed and I will finally be where I want to be. I've had trouble reaching my goal before. I would return to my old ways. I used to be that way...but now I'm different. :)

Here we go again! lol

I'm pretty sad...aren't I? lol. Well....here I go again. Starting over....starting anew. I plugged numbers into Mydiet.com.....and found out that I can be at my goal in 1 year. One part of me is like....a year...that is a long time....but really...a year goes so incredibly fast. I can do this...right? RIGHT! I can.

I am going to do this for me. Just for me. So I will feel better physically and mentally. Today is a beautiful day outside...and I'm going to seize it...and make the most of it. I have already...gone to the dentist, worked out, done yard work, watched some TV, made some lunch, and done homeschooling. I would say that I am on a roll so far. Lets keep it up.

Ohh also GO BLAZERS! I just love how Portland gets into their team. It is exciting. :)

Here's a picture of me and the girls in our family. :) We had a wonderful Easter brunch. My mom, me, Nancy, Amber, Caitlyn, and Natalie.

Happy Valentines Day :)

So Valentines Day is coming to an end. I was unable to sleep once crawling in bed, so as Ned snores away...I have come downstairs. I watched the second half of "Jerry McGuire", and now have decided to blog a tiny bit.

The day started out early. Ned went to photograph with friends early. I waved goodbye to him at the door at 6a.m. I then made Valentine cookies shaped as hearts with brownie's in the center surrounded by frosting....YUMMMMY! I eventually woke the girls up and we went out to breakfast with my Mom, Ron, Jason, Natalie, and the kids. Following that we went to my nephew's 8th birthday party at Big Al's. The kids bowled and played arcade games. :) We had great fun. The girlies then went to Natalie's for the night. :)

I arrived home later in the afternoon, and Ned was home. He had some good luck with his photography. I also had a card and roses when I got home. :) We went to Black Angus for dinner, and it was wonderful. I tested my gall bladder a little too much....so far...it's not bothering me...yet. But if it does bother me later...I will deserve it. :( After coming home...we did some karaoke. ...now that was funny. We even sang "I got you babe" as a duet...talk about hilarious.

All in all...it was a pretty good day. :) Happy Valentines to you. :)

I would like a NORMAL life. (really just relaxation)

I would...for just once....for awhile even...like a normal life. Really I would. I would like some routine, and I would like no problems, and I would like things to just be made right...just for a little while. I would like everyone to be happy...and it doesn't even have to be giddy excited happy, just happy content. Just glad to be alive, just happy to be with their family, just...I don't know. (After re-reading...I realized....what I need is just to relax. I need time to relax. I need a massage...and I need to smell good candles, and soft music...and I need Calgon to take me away)

I feel full of complaints all of a sudden. Full of selfishness...and of course I feel like I deserve it. I feel like I give a lot, and I'd like more in return. I wrestle in my head with the idea of being selfish, and wish that I wasn't. I take things so personally sometimes. I say what I shouldn't, and don't say what I should....and I think I just better stop...and forget about it all...and know that I'm hormonal...and just let it go...let it go.

On another note...I sure need to go to the gym, if only to weigh. I would really like to know how much I've lost with my new pretty much no fat diet. I've very much decreased my intake as well, so it is all a good thing. :) Tomorrow I head to the surgeons office to see what he advises me to do about my gall bladder. So we'll see. As for now...I had better get back to homeschooling. Sara is doing really well, she is even learning cursive writing.

Upper Endoscopies are Fun.lol

Well...found the source of my medical issues. After a trip to the ER with severe chest/back pain, a few more bouts of that pain over the last week, 3 different medications, and upper endoscopy, and an abdominal ultrasound....I have gallstones. (Ned diagnosed this the first night.lol) :) So that would be the source of my severe pain, that seems to pop up....well for me....whenever. I didn't know that something could hurt sooooo bad. So anyways...I should be getting my gall bladder out this week sometime. As far as the upper endoscopy...it's wonderful to have a doctor know what he's doing and know how much medicine to give someone...so that one minute...I was feeling a little dizzy...and the next minute...it was completely over. :) Honestly...didn't even know that it happened. By the way...the little pic at the top...is a plush gall bladder. lol.lol.lol.lol He looks tooo cute to be causing me so much pain.

As far as exercise....it has been non-existent because I'm afraid constantly that the pain will arrive, but my eating habits couldn't be better. A diet with almost no fat, is what has made me feel best. And as long as it keeps the pain to a minimum...then I'm good. :)

As far as the homeschooling....well I have all the curriculum now, so we are set. Now if I can just do it around surgery...it'll be good.

Anyways...hope everyone of yours is doing well, and you were able to enjoy a beautiful weekend. We sure have. We have actually had a relaxing, family fun filled weekend with the girls. We looked around at the mall last night....and Nedster bought me some new shoes. :) I love shoes. :)

Homeschooling Again. :)

Here is Sara on her first day of Homeschooling. We went together to the school, and withdrew her, then we went to the School District to fill out our "Intent to Homeschool". We then headed back home to start our day. Our curriculum won't be here until Wed. afternoon...so we flew by the seat of our pants until then. Curriculum and lesson plans make it so much easier. I'll be thrilled when I have that. :)

Sara is such an amazing girl. I guess I don't always realize that when we are all running around, but these past few days that we have been together, have really been amazing. I can definitely see some great potential in her. We've had a lot of fun together.
I've also had some medical stuff going on...and my Sara has been a wonderful nurse. She does whatever is asked of her, and she gets me everything that I need.

Next week should be interesting when we have curriculum and everything. :) That will be great.

Just because I wanted to.

I worked out today. By myself. In the middle of the afternoon. hmmm. WEIRD. I didn't have to work today. I got called off because our census is low. We usually only work out on the days that I have off (working 12-13 hour shifts on your feet doesn't give you a whole lot of energy left over once you get home) So we workout on my days off. Today I normally work...so we wouldn't normally go tonight. Ned wasn't feeling so good today....so I thought he probably wouldn't want to go when he got home (good thing I didn't wait...as he got called back into work). Anyways....around 3 p.m. I got this urge to workout. WEIRD. I thought about the music I would be listening to...and how good it felt last night...to walk and jog to those tunes....so before the thoughts could leave my brain...I headed out. I had to blog this...as it NEVER happens. I NEVER FEEL like working out. It is NEVER something I am happy about doing. Today...I WANTED to do it. WEIRD. It makes me happy. So I just wanted to share with you....something good that happened today. :) Have a great evening. I'll be watching the Biggest Loser. :) Speaking of Biggest Loser....remember last year my work did a weight loss challenge/contest. Well...it is going on again this year. I won last year, but I have gained a fair amount of it back . I didn't let that stop me....I joined again. :) Maybe if I keep exercising and working out...and being healthy...I will again be the Biggest Loser :) It doesn't end til June....so stay tuned. :)

Down a bit :)

So we are on the right track. Not as fast as we would like...but then again...we would have to work a little harder too. Ned is down 5 after 2 weeks and I am down 3. We'll get better...but at least it's the right direction.

Not a whole lot has been going on here. We have had some pretty boring weekends lately. We've been staying home and relaxing a lot.lol Not a bad thing...just not a lot to write about.

Well there is one thing. :) I'm going to start homeschooling Sara starting next week. Feb 3 is our start day. It was a big decision but I have lots of support especially from my family, and my best girl friend Renee (she is a homeschool queen). We are going to use Abeka curriculum and start from the beginning of the 2nd grade, and work through the summer. It is quite a task to take on, but it is what is best for my baby girl...and that is what matters.

On track again?

I know...how many times do we have to get back on track? One would think that if you weren't on track by now then find a new train honey. But none the less....

The tragedy in life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.
Benjamin Mays

So I press on and I continue. As one friend says..."Keep on...Keepin on" So back to the gym again this morning. I do weigh less than I did a year ago...but still have lost a lot of ground since we stopped our healthy lifestyle last year. It was that darn..."have just 1 brownie" that has turned into a mound full of desserts. Oh well... I guess...nothing I can do now. Just have to start again. Have a new goal in mind. Somehow...I need to find the desire again.

On another note....I finally finished my last holiday project. It was a crocheted blanket for Renee...that I started...what.????? 6 years ago maybe? Well it is complete. Here is a picture of it. I really do like it...and I am proud of the work. I gave it to Renee the other night as we met with our kids and had Noodle Soup at our favorite Vietnamese Restaurant..."Pho Green Papaya" That soup was so tasty. It's exactly what I need again on this foggy day.

Well...that's all I know for now. I'll try to keep updating this on our progress. :)

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

(p.s. I really like quotes today :)

Happy New Year

Happy New Year. :) We had a great New Years Eve here. :) We made the evening quite enjoyable. :) First of all I had the day off...so that was a plus. Then I went to a early happy hour at Joe's Crab Shack with my Mom and Ron...and Ned followed after he got off work. We stayed a couple hours...then headed home.

I made the girls some tasty appetizers to include : mozzarella sticks, jalapeno poppers, chicken fingers, pizza bagel bites, salami and cheese, and french bread. After snacks we had multiple Wii tournaments. We made cards such as "Most Strikes in a Game", "Highest Score in Bowling", "Most money made during a gig on Guitar Hero" and so on and so on. The winners of these games won a lotto scratch ticket. In total..we won $20 between everyone. We also set a timer every 5-25 minutes and whoever's turn it was on the wii...got to pick a card. The cards had "Movie of your choice", "Free milkshake", "Get out of 1 chore", and so on. We stayed up till 1 a.m. or so. At 11:50p.m. we watched the countdown....then at midnight...Ned and I kissed, we all yelled...and screamed...and set off our car alarms. Everyone had a wonderful night....It was probably the best New Years that we have ever had.


This year is already off to a good start. In the last week...we've ordered meals that came to $7.77 3 times.....and I spent the $15 on lotto tickets...and won $20. I continue to work on projects...and complete them. I've been able to stand in the snow...and I had a wonderful dinner.

Here's to a year of growing. Growing stronger, healthier, and growing up. Didn't know I need to do that? I do. Started counseling...heading back to the gym...relaxing more. :) It will be a good year.